Revising Your Manuscript: Adverbs

Adverbs that end in 'ly' (hugely, beautifully, darkly, etc.) can bring your writing down.  I see them a lot, in the manuscripts I edit/proofread/critique.  And, honestly, I use them a lot in my rougher drafts, when I write as well.

The problem with using ly-adverbs is that people just don't like them.  Here's why:

1) They have a tendency to trip readers up.  They're getting into the story, they're immersing themselves in the world you've created, then bam!  They're bombarded with a bunch of words that all have the same ending.  This will bring many readers out of your world, and potentially harm their ability to fully enjoy your work.

2) They also have a tendency to annoy editors, publishers, agents, reviewers, fellow writers, etc.  Why?  Because it is often viewed as "weak" or "lazy" writing to sprinkle these pesky suckers throughout your manuscript.  Why?  Because there is usually a better description you can give, if you push yourself to think of something just a bit stronger.  Example: "He smiled widely." vs. "A wide smile spread across his face."  Try saying both of those out loud, and you'll see what I mean.

3) It's a style thing.  "Frustratingly" is a very difficult word to say, and most people wouldn't say it in real life, so why try to make them?

Sure, adverbs that end in 'ly' are easy.  And, go ahead and use them for your rough draft (that's what revisions are for - cleaning up and tightening that rough draft).  But, easy doesn't equal good. 

I'm not saying NEVER EVER use them.  One or two, in the right places, might work very well (depending on the particular story).  Throughout the book though?  Not a good idea.  You want to make the right impression - the first time, every time.  So, make that book shine its brightest!

But, don't use them within character dialogue.  Just don't.  Again, maybe, depending on the particular story, once or twice -- you have to know your story well enough to know when and how you can pull it off.  

Example: in the movie version of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  Professor Umbridge is interrogating teachers.  She gets to Snape.

Umbridge: "You first applied for the defense against the dark arts position?"
Snape:      "Yes"
Umbridge: "And, you did not receive it?"
Snape:      "Obviously."

That is a well-placed ly-adverb.  It's delivered well by the character.  Done correctly, there is no reason you couldn't pull that kind of delivery off in your own writing, even though you don't have Alan Rickman's awesome acting talent behind your protagonist/antagonist.  But, it needs to be VERY rare.  In a general sense - you CAN do better.  Your characters CAN do better.  I have faith in you.